Sep 16, 2010
The Bat Who Couldn't Fly
His name was Bat. He lived in a cave with all of his family and friends. He was always walkiing on the ceiling of the cave and he never came down. Everyone thought that he could fly because no one saw him get to the ceiling, which is 1,000 meters high. His friends wanted to see him fly because he was rumored to have been the fastest bat alive so they put bat oil on the ceiling around him when he was sleeping so that he would fall and would have to fly. When Bat woke up he started walking around and slipped off of the 1000 meter high ceiling. As he was plummiting down to the ground his friends waited in anticipation. Later that day he was known as The Bat Who Couldn't Fly.
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A dead bat. Poor Bat. Short but contaiins spcific details. Good entry.
ReplyDeleteInteresting, but you need sentence variety. Also, this phrase:
ReplyDelete"His friends wanted to see him fly because [he was rumored] to have been the fastest bat alive so they put bat oil on the ceiling around him when he was sleeping so that he would fall and would have to fly."
How could a bat be rumored? You mean rumor has it...?
Also, your tense " Have been". Thats like...ancient. Use something more up to date in your story, such as he is the fastest bat alive.